互补性定义
羽毛的鸟儿聚集在一起吗?对立面吸引吗?这些问题已经在吸引力领域中进行了广泛的检查,但在持续的关系中,较少的重点是相似性与互补性的相似性。互补性意味着合作伙伴的方式是不同的,使他们能够适应或努力工作。
许多研究支持了我们最初被吸引到与我们在人格,外表和兴趣中相似的人所吸引的想法。然后这个问题成为这种对方的这种欲望,就像我们一样,将导致更快乐,更令人满意的关系。这个问题的答案似乎是“并不总是”。虽然我们似乎更喜欢与我们类似的人格特质的人,但在关系中的合作伙伴的需求和角色之间的互补性也预测了关系的满意度。互补性并没有提到对立的对立面,但合作伙伴持有的特征,需求或角色是不同的,而是共同努力创造一个凝聚力的整体。
承担角色问题。如果你和你的伴侣都喜欢做饭,但拒绝清洁(即,角色的相似之处),你的生活质量可能会受到损害,直到你们其中一个人不能再接受并清理。如果每次剩下同一伙伴会处理乱七样,那么这可能会造成怨恨成长。With complementarity, however, you could each specialize in a unique role (e.g., if you enjoy cooking and your partner enjoys housecleaning, you have unique but complementary roles in the household, and everything gets done by the person who enjoys it more), or you could alternate roles over time (e.g., “I’ll cook if you’ll wash the dishes, then tomorrow we’ll switch”). Research has shown that these kinds of complementarity increase satisfaction and lower conflict in both dating and marital relationships.
我们有哪些证据具有这种互补性实际存在的关系?Individuals in both dating and marital relationships report outperforming their partners in areas that are important to their own self-concept (e.g., “Sports are important to me. I play better than my partner”) and underperforming in areas that are not important to the self (e.g., “Sports are not important to me. I do not play as well as my partner”). These individuals also reported outperforming their partner in areas that did not matter to the partner and underperforming in areas that were relevant to the person they were involved with.
这表明,虽然相似性似乎在最初的吸引力中发挥着强大的作用,并且在人格特质方面更具体地,但需要的需求和角色的互补性也似乎在关系持续和在持续关系中的成功中发挥着强大作用。
参考:
- Pilkington,C.,Tesser,A.,&Stephens,D。(1991)。浪漫关系的互补性:自我评估维护视角。社会与个人关系杂志,8(4),481-504。
- 施密特,D。(2002)。与约会关系结果相关的个性,附属和性行为:对比个人属性互动的三个视角。英国社会心理学杂志,41,589-610。